The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful yet challenging concepts in the Christian faith. It's the cornerstone of our relationship with God and with one another. Yet, when we're hurt—especially deeply—forgiveness can feel impossible. Today, I want to explore what biblical forgiveness really means and how it can transform our relationships and our lives.

What Forgiveness Is Not

Before we understand what forgiveness is, we must clarify what it's not. Forgiveness does not mean:

• Excusing the behavior: The offense was wrong, and forgiveness doesn't pretend otherwise.
• Forgetting: While God promises to remember our sins no more (Hebrews 8:12), we're human. We may remember, but we choose not to hold it against the person.
• Instant trust: Trust is earned. Forgiveness is given freely, but reconciliation may take time.
• Denying your pain: Your hurt is real. Forgiveness acknowledges the pain while releasing the right to retaliate.

The Biblical Model of Forgiveness

In Matthew 18:21-35, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive someone—up to seven times? Jesus responds, "Not seven times, but seventy-seven times," illustrating that forgiveness should be limitless.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"

Jesus then tells the parable of the unmerciful servant, contrasting God's infinite mercy with our often grudging forgiveness. The message is clear: having received immeasurable forgiveness from God, how can we withhold forgiveness from others?

The Process of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often a process rather than a one-time event. Here are practical steps based on Scripture:

1. Acknowledge the Hurt

Don't minimize your pain. Bring it honestly before God (Psalm 62:8). He can handle your anger, questions, and tears.

2. Remember God's Forgiveness

Reflect on Ephesians 4:32: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." We forgive because we've been forgiven much.

3. Decide to Forgive

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. You may not feel like forgiving, but you can choose to obey God's command (Colossians 3:13).

4. Release the Offense

This means giving up the right to retaliate or hold the offense over the person. Romans 12:19 reminds us vengeance belongs to God.

5. Pray for the Offender

Jesus commands us to pray for those who hurt us (Matthew 5:44). This softens our hearts and aligns us with God's perspective.

6. Seek Reconciliation When Possible

While not always safe or appropriate, when possible, pursue restored relationships (Romans 12:18).

The Freedom of Forgiveness

When we forgive, we're not saying the offense didn't matter. We're trusting that God is a better judge and avenger than we could ever be. Forgiveness releases us from the prison of bitterness and opens the door to God's healing.

As Corrie ten Boom, a Holocaust survivor who forgave her captors, said: "Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart."

This week, I challenge you to identify any unforgiveness in your heart. Bring it to God, and take steps toward forgiveness. The process may be difficult, but the freedom is worth it.